I’m sitting up in bed, watching Emily fall asleep tonight…in awe and amazement. 

(Picture to the left is the first time I held Emily in the hospital)

Tonight after her 9pm feeding I finally had some peace and quiet, just the two of us.  No family around, no visitors, just the girls staring at each other.  As I cradled her in my arms, her great big blue eyes seared right into my soul.  I swear she could see everything-my hopes …my dreams…my failures…my faults.  I lost it, and began to cry great big tears of joy.  She saw the real me and loves me anyway.  We have a bond, I never imagined was possible.  Apart we are not complete, together we can get through anything. 

It’s the perfect picture and example of our relationship with God.  As a father, he looks down at his children while he holds them close…sees deep into our souls and loves us anyway. 

This is the best time of my life so far.  It’s better then moving into my first college dorm room, it’s better then graduation and landing my first job in radio, it even rivals my wedding day.  This is pure joy.  To hold my baby girl and know that I provide everything she needs to thrive in life right now. It sounds like it would feel like an overwhelming responsibility, in fact, I thought it would be when I was pregnant, but that’s now how it feels now.  It’s an honor, not a chore. 

A spiritual mentor of mine prepared me for this before we brought Emily home from the hospital.  I called him to tell him of the news of Emily’s birth, and he gave me the greatest piece of “pastoral wisdom”.  He reminded me that in this new role that God has chosen Greg and I for, he doesn’t leave us alone.  He has appointed us as Emily’s parents to provide for her and teach her to love and pursue God with her whole heart, but he didn’t just give us a job and leave us on our own to accomplish it.  He equipped us to immediately to be able to love and parent her successfully.  I love that about God.  He never gives you more responsibility without giving you the tools you need to pull it off.  Knowing that I left the hospital and brought my baby girl home with the all the confidence in the world that we could do this! 
“And those whom He thus foreordained, He also called; and those whom He called, He also justified (acquitted, made righteous, putting them into right standing with Himself). And those whom He justified, He also glorified [raising them to a heavenly dignity and condition or state of being]. Romans 8:30 (Amplified Bible)

“After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.” Romans 8:30 (Message)

And it’s been a fairy tale ever since.  Emily eats well and sleeps well.  I’m getting extra naps and loving nursing.  I’m even starting to get back into shape.  I had my moments of exhaustion and fear that my body was always going to be a strange round shape, but again thought back onto the “pastoral wisdom” and now I believe that I will get rest and eventually get into even better shape then I was before.  I Believe!